February 17th, 2023: Greetings From Austin! Hope everyone is having a good February. I somehow forgot to mention I turned 39 a couple weeks ago. I figured I would keep it pretty low-key before having a bigger party next year. Here’s to another fun year on this rock :-)
Love that you and Angie are making your family and the projects that spark your creative fires priorities alongside paid work, rather than just the latter.
It’s hard to strike that balance but as you said, it’s the hard most of us want. The latter leaves people empty and unfulfilled, and often in very poor health.
Thank you for this insightful post. There were several points I needed to hear as a working parent.
It's a relief to hear that others love being a father. I find great joy and meaning in this new role. It's one I never expected, much less at 45. I love reading, chasing, playing, and being as present as possible with my son.
And... (holding two truths at once, something I took away from Dr. Becky's Good Inside) I need time to train, meditate, journal, and spend with my wife. And time for work that is meaningful to me.
I love the idea of being more structured with your work time. It's almost like it gives you the permission you need to set down your other roles and do the work. And I believe that to have the Muse visit, you must sit down and do the work whether or not you are motivated.
I know what allows me to show up as the best version of myself for my wife and son and the world at large. And yet, at times, I struggle to ask for what I need.
Thank you, Paul, for sharing your struggles as well.
This was wonderful to read. I’m returning from travels in a week and planning to double down on my writing instead of taking a conventional job (for the time being). This post reaffirms I’m not that crazy for trying to turn writing into a career. Thanks for writing Paul!
Great reflection. I’m grateful to continue learning from your path and allowing it to inform and inspire my own.
We are more in an energized, work more, build things kinda phase in our business right now but I’m curious to see how things will shift and evolve as the baby arrives.
It's really cool to see how you and Angie navigate your own paths while supporting each other and the growth of your baby girl. The line that really stood out to me is when you say people will probably "experiment with different ways of fitting work into their lives." Framing it that way is super empowering and it stopped me in my tracks for a second. That's the way it should be, and not finding ways to fit life around their work. Thanks for sharing, Paul!
This section here is one of the reasons I'm a big fan of yours.
Katie and I feel like we probably want kids but know we first need to "develop a capacity to sit with uncomfortable emotions" and break free from the constant hustle of American corporate lives of working 40-60 hour weeks.
~~~
> Lots of people used to say, “you can’t do this sort of life if you have kids!” which was always weird for me to hear because I knew I wanted kids and this sort of lifestyle I’m living now was the only one I could imagine with kids. The five years years before having our daughter, I “practiced” life for the main event, assuming we would have kids. I figured that since I knew how to work, the best things I could do were actually practicing doing nothing, trading money for time, and developing a capacity to sit with uncomfortable emotions. I’m sort of surprised at how well these things prepared me.
"The reason so many people stay on unconventional paths despite obviously better-on-paper alternatives is that they usually find that they are far more capable than they imagined and they like the process of figuring things out as they go." - Amen, the unconventional path is full of novelty and human crave novelty. I love the excitement of not knowing exactly what I'll be working on two years from now.
"For our family to thrive and for us to build the life we want, we need Angie to pursue her art." hearing your relationship dynamic with Angie is so refreshing, so honest, and makes it so relatable.
I've been thinking of going down to 4 days a week, but 3 is very intriguing. Out of curiosity - do you do your reading/content consumption (podcasts, etc.) on your off days or during your work days?
Love that you and Angie are making your family and the projects that spark your creative fires priorities alongside paid work, rather than just the latter.
It’s hard to strike that balance but as you said, it’s the hard most of us want. The latter leaves people empty and unfulfilled, and often in very poor health.
Thank you for this insightful post. There were several points I needed to hear as a working parent.
It's a relief to hear that others love being a father. I find great joy and meaning in this new role. It's one I never expected, much less at 45. I love reading, chasing, playing, and being as present as possible with my son.
And... (holding two truths at once, something I took away from Dr. Becky's Good Inside) I need time to train, meditate, journal, and spend with my wife. And time for work that is meaningful to me.
I love the idea of being more structured with your work time. It's almost like it gives you the permission you need to set down your other roles and do the work. And I believe that to have the Muse visit, you must sit down and do the work whether or not you are motivated.
I know what allows me to show up as the best version of myself for my wife and son and the world at large. And yet, at times, I struggle to ask for what I need.
Thank you, Paul, for sharing your struggles as well.
This was wonderful to read. I’m returning from travels in a week and planning to double down on my writing instead of taking a conventional job (for the time being). This post reaffirms I’m not that crazy for trying to turn writing into a career. Thanks for writing Paul!
Great reflection. I’m grateful to continue learning from your path and allowing it to inform and inspire my own.
We are more in an energized, work more, build things kinda phase in our business right now but I’m curious to see how things will shift and evolve as the baby arrives.
Sending hugs 🤗
It's really cool to see how you and Angie navigate your own paths while supporting each other and the growth of your baby girl. The line that really stood out to me is when you say people will probably "experiment with different ways of fitting work into their lives." Framing it that way is super empowering and it stopped me in my tracks for a second. That's the way it should be, and not finding ways to fit life around their work. Thanks for sharing, Paul!
This section here is one of the reasons I'm a big fan of yours.
Katie and I feel like we probably want kids but know we first need to "develop a capacity to sit with uncomfortable emotions" and break free from the constant hustle of American corporate lives of working 40-60 hour weeks.
~~~
> Lots of people used to say, “you can’t do this sort of life if you have kids!” which was always weird for me to hear because I knew I wanted kids and this sort of lifestyle I’m living now was the only one I could imagine with kids. The five years years before having our daughter, I “practiced” life for the main event, assuming we would have kids. I figured that since I knew how to work, the best things I could do were actually practicing doing nothing, trading money for time, and developing a capacity to sit with uncomfortable emotions. I’m sort of surprised at how well these things prepared me.
Illuminating, as always!
"The reason so many people stay on unconventional paths despite obviously better-on-paper alternatives is that they usually find that they are far more capable than they imagined and they like the process of figuring things out as they go." - Amen, the unconventional path is full of novelty and human crave novelty. I love the excitement of not knowing exactly what I'll be working on two years from now.
"For our family to thrive and for us to build the life we want, we need Angie to pursue her art." hearing your relationship dynamic with Angie is so refreshing, so honest, and makes it so relatable.
I've been thinking of going down to 4 days a week, but 3 is very intriguing. Out of curiosity - do you do your reading/content consumption (podcasts, etc.) on your off days or during your work days?