There is no single moment where I felt like I had finally inhabited the role of “dad.” There are so many clichés and stories in the way people talk about parenthood that would be easy to repeat but nothing has felt right.
Thank you for sharing this Paul. I related to a lot of it. I loved the months I took off when my daughter was born. I wished I had taken more time off when my son was born. And though I didn't get to be home for quite as many of those firsts, deciding to homeschool my kids has given me a lot of that. I know my son so well a year + into homeschooling. I know how he thinks, what he likes and dislikes, how to make him smile, when to throw a game of chess so that he'll stay motivated (although usually I wish he'd throw a game of chess so that I could win one), how he learns, and most of all how to relate to him. I can also relate to the feeling of loneliness, looking around and seeing moms and nannies and wondering if I'm missing out on it all.
Keep going. It only gets better (as I'm sure you'll figure out).
Thank you for sharing this Paul. I'm a new dad, my son is 3 months old, and my wife and I coming out of the honeymoon period of early parenthood. Settling back into a sustainable schedule has been a struggle -- mostly the logistics for me, mostly the emotions for her. Your perspective is a huge help.
PS. I'm so happy for you both. I had the pleasure of meeting Angie via Zoom a few years ago and it wasn't until months later that I connected the dots between you two. I had already been reading your blog at the time. Small world. Thank you again for your perspective.
What a joy to read the dad side of things, as I sit deep in the trenches of the mum side of things. Please keep writing about fatherhood! And congrats on two years!
I think I really began to appreciate my daughter when she was about 14 and she got to the top of her first “real” peak with me. We’ve got a picture, me holding her hand as she stands on the rocky summit looking a little scared. And then climbing somehow kept us together as she traversed those wooly years between 14 and 18. At 18, we climbed Mt. Adams just before she left for college. I write this as if it was simple and direct: in truth, those years are gold to me. We still climb from time to time, but she’s married now and working to spin up biotech companies. But god, I love her. Wishing you many more happy years with your daughter, and thanks for the prompt to recall.
Loved this post so much, Paul. (As someone self-employed expecting a baby girl in ~6 weeks, a vision from the future is very useful in practical terms, too.)
Hey Paul I love it. I've talked a lot about this with Scott's Satsang and Digital Nomad friends. When I have children the choice in between live cheaply somewhere in the world and be with my children versus *work more* and live in an expensive city is obvious to me. But if you haven't travelled and realized the standard of life available with a western income somewhere in the rest of the world it's hard to reconcile. Cheers to inhabiting the role!
Yea give me a DM if you need any additional people who have thought about it. I have a friend who used to run a service helping families nomad and then wound down. But she still is up to chat and knows a ton about schooling, nannies, services that could be helpful.
My girlfriend and I are deciding where to start having a base again and having the same perspective. I told someone last week of if only a bunch of you could move to somewhere cool like Costa Rica.... then we'd be fine.
Loved this, I have been a dad for 5 weeks now and I hope to be able to spend a lot of time around her. Congrats on your 2 years!
Thank you for sharing this Paul. I related to a lot of it. I loved the months I took off when my daughter was born. I wished I had taken more time off when my son was born. And though I didn't get to be home for quite as many of those firsts, deciding to homeschool my kids has given me a lot of that. I know my son so well a year + into homeschooling. I know how he thinks, what he likes and dislikes, how to make him smile, when to throw a game of chess so that he'll stay motivated (although usually I wish he'd throw a game of chess so that I could win one), how he learns, and most of all how to relate to him. I can also relate to the feeling of loneliness, looking around and seeing moms and nannies and wondering if I'm missing out on it all.
Keep going. It only gets better (as I'm sure you'll figure out).
Thanks Latham. It’s so great seeing you experiment ahead of me.
This is so lovely. Also! Let us take a moment to celebrate the rainbow shooting from Angie’s head! Unsurprising. Her mind is so magical and powerful.
Agreed 😂
Thank you for sharing this Paul. I'm a new dad, my son is 3 months old, and my wife and I coming out of the honeymoon period of early parenthood. Settling back into a sustainable schedule has been a struggle -- mostly the logistics for me, mostly the emotions for her. Your perspective is a huge help.
PS. I'm so happy for you both. I had the pleasure of meeting Angie via Zoom a few years ago and it wasn't until months later that I connected the dots between you two. I had already been reading your blog at the time. Small world. Thank you again for your perspective.
appreciate it! the schedule isnt really needed for the kiddo until 7-8 months from what I've seen, so if you want to reject it you can! haha
Haha yeah little man isn't on a schedule yet and we want to reject that as long as possible. It's more of dad figuring his new schedule..
its a journey that never ends haha
What a joy to read the dad side of things, as I sit deep in the trenches of the mum side of things. Please keep writing about fatherhood! And congrats on two years!
I think I really began to appreciate my daughter when she was about 14 and she got to the top of her first “real” peak with me. We’ve got a picture, me holding her hand as she stands on the rocky summit looking a little scared. And then climbing somehow kept us together as she traversed those wooly years between 14 and 18. At 18, we climbed Mt. Adams just before she left for college. I write this as if it was simple and direct: in truth, those years are gold to me. We still climb from time to time, but she’s married now and working to spin up biotech companies. But god, I love her. Wishing you many more happy years with your daughter, and thanks for the prompt to recall.
this is beautiful tom, thanks for sharing. looking forward to climbing many mountains with my daughter too :-)
🥹🥹🥹 you three are so amazing! Happy birthday Michelle 🥳
Congrats on the milestone. No easy feat for sure.
❤️🤝
What a tribute — happy birthday, Michelle! And happy parenthood anniversary to you two :)
Loved this post so much, Paul. (As someone self-employed expecting a baby girl in ~6 weeks, a vision from the future is very useful in practical terms, too.)
Beautiful family!
Hey Paul I love it. I've talked a lot about this with Scott's Satsang and Digital Nomad friends. When I have children the choice in between live cheaply somewhere in the world and be with my children versus *work more* and live in an expensive city is obvious to me. But if you haven't travelled and realized the standard of life available with a western income somewhere in the rest of the world it's hard to reconcile. Cheers to inhabiting the role!
Ha why we are considering moving!
Yea give me a DM if you need any additional people who have thought about it. I have a friend who used to run a service helping families nomad and then wound down. But she still is up to chat and knows a ton about schooling, nannies, services that could be helpful.
My girlfriend and I are deciding where to start having a base again and having the same perspective. I told someone last week of if only a bunch of you could move to somewhere cool like Costa Rica.... then we'd be fine.
Yeah would love her info. I know many moving to Nosara and Santa Teresa
Love to hear a dad being so involved! Just imagine how much that will impact her the rest of her life 🥹 Happy birthday to your daughter!
Inspiring!
It sounds like the two of you have a wonderful relationship. There's nothing quite like unconditional love for us and our kids.