Hey Paul. First time reader, I found this inspiring, and it generated some ideas for action (as someone relatively new to writing consistently online).
However, I felt like the point of “overcoming fear” was underdeveloped. You listed a number of benefits to writing that all more or less resonate. But they don’t address the fear piece directly. I think lack of credentials holds some people back, but another fear that looms larger is this inhibition around upsetting others. Fear that if you don’t write something that is self-deprecating, politically correct, not underdog enough, you’ll get called out. There’s such an inhibition around being judged and ostracized (or worse) that permeates the public forum.
Hey Max! Welcome aboard. I didn't go super deep on the fear part. I totally agree with that assessment. I think a couple things I found
1. theres so much content online that people don't "hate read" your stuff like they might CNN, Fox, etc... Some people certainly have called me out for white privelege but in all three cases they said they "hand't actually read my stuff or listened to my podcast" they were just reacting to headlines telling me i shouldnt talk about something. Inevitable, but I think you can ignore people who wont read your stuff before they offer criticism
another group of people react to my writing but imagine I said something else "I disagree with your take on X" when I didn't intend to make this point. the only option is to ignore these types too
2. the advantage of writing is that people generally don't keep reading something they don't like, so the people that finish your writing generally either 1. like you or 2. are interested in what you have to say. some people will even add on additional things or point out things you missed.
3. try to find friends who are interested in similar topics or who will proofread your stuff. Id be happy to proof anything you have if you want!
4. If you ARE being overly provacative, non-PC etc... it might be worth asking why? does it really help the writing? are you venting your own personal frustration? I often fall into this trap with my writing on work but I find that when I remove those things it helps the writing, not weakens it. Sometimes it can work well in the right tone, but it takes time.
5. Mostly I write for other curious nerds like you. If you are writing for a mass audience its much harder. People mistake me for running a media empire sometimes. I try to remind people that im just a dude on the internet that is wrong about a lot of things and trying to make sense of it as i go along.
Finally there are fears that make sense. In some ways your friends or family MAY find what you do distasteful - they may even distance themselves or resent you. This is just hard to deal with and theres no good answer. The question is how long are you willing to supress your creative urges and at what cost?
I'm reading Adair Lara's 1995 writing guide, Naked, Drunk, and Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay. In the introduction, she discusses the embarrassment or shame she'd occasionally feel writing about some subject—words that signal to me fear and inhibition. She says:
"When I felt embarrassed to be talking about myself, I clung to Jung's idea that, ironically, the more intensely individual a person's thoughts are, the more uniquely applicable to him or her, the more they will have meaning for other people. 'That which is most personal is most common.'"
I don't mean to be provocative for the sake of provocation (although it's not without its uses). It just seems that our moment is especially charged. People are seeking alignment, taking umbrage with nuance or reservation. And what constitutes provocation is being revised more expansively.
I really appreciate your thoughtful answer. I, too, want to write for curious, thoughtful folks and share what stimulates me. Some of what stimulates me touches the culture wars, and I feel a tension in writing openly and honestly about that and also having it tied permanently to me (and for some reason, I'm averse to writing pseudonymously.). Navigating that tension has occupied me for the last six months.
I'll take you up on that offer to proofread! How can I share something with you? Thanks!
it is a hard time to write. for example I don't write at all about diversity & inclusion at companies even though I think most of it is harmful and not helpful to what they claim to do. not worth playing culture war games i dont want to play
Hi Paul! I like writing my newsletter but I get anxious and angry when I go on twitter. I like what you wrote in a comment below about how removing venting from your writing makes it better; I’ve found the same. But how do you avoid getting psychologically hooked by content that feels (is) designed to hook? I’m intrigued by your recommendation of twitter for connecting. I don’t have an account for fear of getting hooked again and again. Every time I visit twitter I feel worse, but I’m throwing the baby out with the bath water it seems based on what you’re saying. Do you have rules about what you don’t allow yourself to engage in? Do you take dedicated time away from social media?
It’s a great question. I don’t spend much time on social media besides Twitter. On my mobile phone I have a 15 minute locked timer and on my desktop I limit to 60 minutes. I tend to use it a lot more when my health isn’t great (hence the past few weeks). Also having a legit account helps because you can mute words and block news accounts aggressively. I only want to hang with people that I might meet in real life one day.
Hey Paul. First time reader, I found this inspiring, and it generated some ideas for action (as someone relatively new to writing consistently online).
However, I felt like the point of “overcoming fear” was underdeveloped. You listed a number of benefits to writing that all more or less resonate. But they don’t address the fear piece directly. I think lack of credentials holds some people back, but another fear that looms larger is this inhibition around upsetting others. Fear that if you don’t write something that is self-deprecating, politically correct, not underdog enough, you’ll get called out. There’s such an inhibition around being judged and ostracized (or worse) that permeates the public forum.
How do you step into that fear?
Hey Max! Welcome aboard. I didn't go super deep on the fear part. I totally agree with that assessment. I think a couple things I found
1. theres so much content online that people don't "hate read" your stuff like they might CNN, Fox, etc... Some people certainly have called me out for white privelege but in all three cases they said they "hand't actually read my stuff or listened to my podcast" they were just reacting to headlines telling me i shouldnt talk about something. Inevitable, but I think you can ignore people who wont read your stuff before they offer criticism
another group of people react to my writing but imagine I said something else "I disagree with your take on X" when I didn't intend to make this point. the only option is to ignore these types too
2. the advantage of writing is that people generally don't keep reading something they don't like, so the people that finish your writing generally either 1. like you or 2. are interested in what you have to say. some people will even add on additional things or point out things you missed.
3. try to find friends who are interested in similar topics or who will proofread your stuff. Id be happy to proof anything you have if you want!
4. If you ARE being overly provacative, non-PC etc... it might be worth asking why? does it really help the writing? are you venting your own personal frustration? I often fall into this trap with my writing on work but I find that when I remove those things it helps the writing, not weakens it. Sometimes it can work well in the right tone, but it takes time.
5. Mostly I write for other curious nerds like you. If you are writing for a mass audience its much harder. People mistake me for running a media empire sometimes. I try to remind people that im just a dude on the internet that is wrong about a lot of things and trying to make sense of it as i go along.
Finally there are fears that make sense. In some ways your friends or family MAY find what you do distasteful - they may even distance themselves or resent you. This is just hard to deal with and theres no good answer. The question is how long are you willing to supress your creative urges and at what cost?
I'm reading Adair Lara's 1995 writing guide, Naked, Drunk, and Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay. In the introduction, she discusses the embarrassment or shame she'd occasionally feel writing about some subject—words that signal to me fear and inhibition. She says:
"When I felt embarrassed to be talking about myself, I clung to Jung's idea that, ironically, the more intensely individual a person's thoughts are, the more uniquely applicable to him or her, the more they will have meaning for other people. 'That which is most personal is most common.'"
I don't mean to be provocative for the sake of provocation (although it's not without its uses). It just seems that our moment is especially charged. People are seeking alignment, taking umbrage with nuance or reservation. And what constitutes provocation is being revised more expansively.
I really appreciate your thoughtful answer. I, too, want to write for curious, thoughtful folks and share what stimulates me. Some of what stimulates me touches the culture wars, and I feel a tension in writing openly and honestly about that and also having it tied permanently to me (and for some reason, I'm averse to writing pseudonymously.). Navigating that tension has occupied me for the last six months.
I'll take you up on that offer to proofread! How can I share something with you? Thanks!
just send it via email or DM on twitter
it is a hard time to write. for example I don't write at all about diversity & inclusion at companies even though I think most of it is harmful and not helpful to what they claim to do. not worth playing culture war games i dont want to play
Good stuff, I agree with most of it! Cheers 💚 🥃
Hi Paul! I like writing my newsletter but I get anxious and angry when I go on twitter. I like what you wrote in a comment below about how removing venting from your writing makes it better; I’ve found the same. But how do you avoid getting psychologically hooked by content that feels (is) designed to hook? I’m intrigued by your recommendation of twitter for connecting. I don’t have an account for fear of getting hooked again and again. Every time I visit twitter I feel worse, but I’m throwing the baby out with the bath water it seems based on what you’re saying. Do you have rules about what you don’t allow yourself to engage in? Do you take dedicated time away from social media?
It’s a great question. I don’t spend much time on social media besides Twitter. On my mobile phone I have a 15 minute locked timer and on my desktop I limit to 60 minutes. I tend to use it a lot more when my health isn’t great (hence the past few weeks). Also having a legit account helps because you can mute words and block news accounts aggressively. I only want to hang with people that I might meet in real life one day.
This is really excellent!