May 18th, 2024: Greetings from Austin! +House Swapping: I’m using Kindred to do some travel this summer. I have a few invites to give away (comes with 5 free nights), Join using this link +Pathless Path Meetups: In Mexico City Meetup on June 6th and
Easiest pre-order ever! Can't wait for the next book. You've hit the nail on the head with this idea of making decisions "with uncomfortable emotions". I've been thinking a lot recently about how people think doing things they want to do, particularly in regards to work or a break from it, can solve their problems. The beauty to me is that you can spend time examining any internal conflicts and like you said, move forward with them.
PS A couple of the links were broken for me (Kindred & Joe Hudson’s podcast).
his personal debts far outweighed his income and he spent parts of 1812 and 1813 in debtor's prison. By 1815, however, he had managed to borrow $2,100, both to buy ice and to pay for a new ice-house in Havana. It was a double-shelled structure, twenty-five feet square on its outside dimension, nineteen feet square on the interior, and sixteen feet high, holding some 150 tons of ice. "Pursued by sheriffs to the very wharf," in Boston, Tudor set sail for Havana on November 1, 1815.
Frederic Tudor at a young age
By 1816, Tudor was shipping ice from Massachusetts to Cuba with ever-increasing efficiency and decided to try his hand at importing Cuban fruit to New York. In August of that year, he borrowed $3,000 (at 40% interest) for a shipload of limes, oranges, bananas, and pears, preserving it with 15 tons of ice and 3 tons of hay. The experiment ended in disaster as virtually all the fruit rotted during the month-long voyage, leaving Tudor with several thousand dollars' worth of new debt
Tudor wrote that 1834 had been unsatisfactory in all but one aspect – that of his marriage to a girl 30 years his junior
Railroad expanded to connect the Fresh Pond icehouses of Tudor, Addison Gage [my great great great great uncle], and Nathaniel J. Wyeth with several wharves in Charlestown
My interpretation of Joe’s golden algorithm (ironic algorithm) is we actually create the thing we’re trying to avoid in the way we’re trying to avoid it.
You wanted to avoid feeling not good enough, so you got jobs at corporations that made you feel not good enough.
To figure out what feeling we’re avoiding, look at what we’re creating with resistance.
Great piece, a lot of it resonated. I‘ve been on a similar path but didn‘t have quite the guts to go as all in as you did. But the risk you took clearly paid off. Or perhaps you didn‘t even perceive it as risk?
I find that everything we desire we desire because we think it will make us feel a certain way. But having it a) usually won‘t eliminate the desire because, per Buddhist thesis, it‘s all an inside job and b) will just lead us to desiring something else… I love how you talk about „being with what is“ without the usual spiritual lingo.
I think for me it didn’t feel like risk as much as a desire to escape at first. And then it seemed like something I no longer saw in terms of “payoff” at all
I’m a month and a bit into my own journey after quitting my job with a couple years of runway, and this article literally could not have been timed better. My exact feelings and challenges laid out so eloquently.
This observation of making more of what you're looking to avoid has been something I've been experiencing in my own life recently, and I "thought" I knew a lot about this stuff already. It's unconsciousness at work. If we aren't conscious of our thoughts and our actions and our emotions, we'll create more of what we don't want. The only way to stop doing that is examine the cause of our frustration and neutralize it. I learned recently that this is one of the oldest pieces of wisdom in human history, and I like that is resurfaces over different generations as we realize we always have the same problems as all humans that have come before us.
Couldn't agree more with the "forcing function for facing your emotions"
Quitting banking to join a startup created the space necessary for me to examine these emotions head on and while they weren't comfortable, they led to deeper self-understanding and ultimately created a more aligned lifestyle
Also just applied for Kindred with your link! Can't believe I hadn't heard of it before!!
I'm so glad you sat with all those emotions and eventually found your way here, Paul. So thankful for your writing and can't wait to get a copy of your next book.
Thanks for the introduction to the golden algorithm! I commonly work with coaching clients on developing their ability to notice and name emotions in the moment. I hadn't realized it but I often recommend that if they don't know where to start with that, they can start in the middle of the golden algorithm that you describe. For example, if they find themselves repeatedly opening the fridge, scrolling their phone, etc. and they don't know why, that's an opportunity to take a step back and practice naming an emotion that they are feeling (and likely trying to avoid).
“In my twenties, I described myself as happy. I was happy in a sense. But I was spending A LOT of effort making sure I always felt good. Between the busyness, weekend binge drinking and partying, plotting for future jobs, and vacations, I was rarely present.
It eventually caught up with me.”
For me it caught up with me by my health deteriorating, I ended up with chronic fatigue and was forced to leave my job as I simply couldn’t function. 3 years later I’m still recovering. I know the Pathless path is for me. There’s no way I would go back to working full time in an office. I just don’t know what my path is yet. I long to find a way to make a living that I can enjoy and thrive off!
I find your writing super inspiring and am glad to have found people who see life as more than work.
Easiest pre-order ever! Can't wait for the next book. You've hit the nail on the head with this idea of making decisions "with uncomfortable emotions". I've been thinking a lot recently about how people think doing things they want to do, particularly in regards to work or a break from it, can solve their problems. The beauty to me is that you can spend time examining any internal conflicts and like you said, move forward with them.
PS A couple of the links were broken for me (Kindred & Joe Hudson’s podcast).
Ah damn. Here is the link You’re invited to apply for early access to Kindred, a members-only home swapping network!
Use my code to get 5 free nights once you’re accepted: pau.mil2
https://www.livekindred.com?invite_code=pau.mil2
Reading about this ice dealer in 1800s
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederic_Tudor
So badass
his personal debts far outweighed his income and he spent parts of 1812 and 1813 in debtor's prison. By 1815, however, he had managed to borrow $2,100, both to buy ice and to pay for a new ice-house in Havana. It was a double-shelled structure, twenty-five feet square on its outside dimension, nineteen feet square on the interior, and sixteen feet high, holding some 150 tons of ice. "Pursued by sheriffs to the very wharf," in Boston, Tudor set sail for Havana on November 1, 1815.
Frederic Tudor at a young age
By 1816, Tudor was shipping ice from Massachusetts to Cuba with ever-increasing efficiency and decided to try his hand at importing Cuban fruit to New York. In August of that year, he borrowed $3,000 (at 40% interest) for a shipload of limes, oranges, bananas, and pears, preserving it with 15 tons of ice and 3 tons of hay. The experiment ended in disaster as virtually all the fruit rotted during the month-long voyage, leaving Tudor with several thousand dollars' worth of new debt
Tudor wrote that 1834 had been unsatisfactory in all but one aspect – that of his marriage to a girl 30 years his junior
Railroad expanded to connect the Fresh Pond icehouses of Tudor, Addison Gage [my great great great great uncle], and Nathaniel J. Wyeth with several wharves in Charlestown
My interpretation of Joe’s golden algorithm (ironic algorithm) is we actually create the thing we’re trying to avoid in the way we’re trying to avoid it.
You wanted to avoid feeling not good enough, so you got jobs at corporations that made you feel not good enough.
To figure out what feeling we’re avoiding, look at what we’re creating with resistance.
Precisely. This is the ancient wisdom of the Yogis and the Sufis. What you put your attention on only expands (there's no such thing as avoidance).
"Taking a pathless path is a forcing function for facing your emotions." -- very, very true. Living that now.
Great piece, a lot of it resonated. I‘ve been on a similar path but didn‘t have quite the guts to go as all in as you did. But the risk you took clearly paid off. Or perhaps you didn‘t even perceive it as risk?
I find that everything we desire we desire because we think it will make us feel a certain way. But having it a) usually won‘t eliminate the desire because, per Buddhist thesis, it‘s all an inside job and b) will just lead us to desiring something else… I love how you talk about „being with what is“ without the usual spiritual lingo.
I think for me it didn’t feel like risk as much as a desire to escape at first. And then it seemed like something I no longer saw in terms of “payoff” at all
I’m a month and a bit into my own journey after quitting my job with a couple years of runway, and this article literally could not have been timed better. My exact feelings and challenges laid out so eloquently.
Thanks so much for this post 🙇♂️
glad it is helpful jack!
This observation of making more of what you're looking to avoid has been something I've been experiencing in my own life recently, and I "thought" I knew a lot about this stuff already. It's unconsciousness at work. If we aren't conscious of our thoughts and our actions and our emotions, we'll create more of what we don't want. The only way to stop doing that is examine the cause of our frustration and neutralize it. I learned recently that this is one of the oldest pieces of wisdom in human history, and I like that is resurfaces over different generations as we realize we always have the same problems as all humans that have come before us.
Couldn't agree more with the "forcing function for facing your emotions"
Quitting banking to join a startup created the space necessary for me to examine these emotions head on and while they weren't comfortable, they led to deeper self-understanding and ultimately created a more aligned lifestyle
Also just applied for Kindred with your link! Can't believe I hadn't heard of it before!!
I'm so glad you sat with all those emotions and eventually found your way here, Paul. So thankful for your writing and can't wait to get a copy of your next book.
Thanks for the introduction to the golden algorithm! I commonly work with coaching clients on developing their ability to notice and name emotions in the moment. I hadn't realized it but I often recommend that if they don't know where to start with that, they can start in the middle of the golden algorithm that you describe. For example, if they find themselves repeatedly opening the fridge, scrolling their phone, etc. and they don't know why, that's an opportunity to take a step back and practice naming an emotion that they are feeling (and likely trying to avoid).
Thanks Paul… One month into quitting my job and resonating with the feelings of being a fool, being not good enough. Looking forward to your book!
Perhaps a strange question, but what's your Enneagram type?
Great piece, really enjoyed this one. Pumped for the new book!
2 + 5 and 7 a bit
Wow I felt this:
“In my twenties, I described myself as happy. I was happy in a sense. But I was spending A LOT of effort making sure I always felt good. Between the busyness, weekend binge drinking and partying, plotting for future jobs, and vacations, I was rarely present.
It eventually caught up with me.”
For me it caught up with me by my health deteriorating, I ended up with chronic fatigue and was forced to leave my job as I simply couldn’t function. 3 years later I’m still recovering. I know the Pathless path is for me. There’s no way I would go back to working full time in an office. I just don’t know what my path is yet. I long to find a way to make a living that I can enjoy and thrive off!
I find your writing super inspiring and am glad to have found people who see life as more than work.
for me there were some health issues along the way, seems to be common!
Very excited for the new book Paul. The title is so clean and to the point. Is it written already? Or in process? Pre-order submitted!
Getting close to done!