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Janice | Travel & Photography's avatar

This is so good, I loved how you tracked and shared all your experiments.what worked and what you quit. As sometimes it feels like we should stick to something as quitting can feel like a failure even though it isn’t.

Paul Millerd's avatar

Quitting is winning

A. Jacobs's avatar

What I appreciate here is how wise agency isn’t about finding the perfect system, but about recovering from filter fatigue, that exhaustion that comes from constantly deciding who to be and what to optimize for. A lot of what you’re describing feels like reducing noise so genuine meaning can surface over time. In that sense, the long game is about maintaining attention that hasn’t been worn down.

Paul Millerd's avatar

I like that frame. It resonates.

There really is so much noise about one should do in today’s world.

Nathan's avatar

Hey Paul. Once again, there so much to apply to my own life from this write-up. Thanks for always helping provide a framework as I navigate living off the default path.

Pithy Thoughts's avatar

I find Sam Kaner’s Diamond of Participation model helpful for thinking about work. Sometimes I want to sit in Diverge mode and follow my curiosity for its own sake; at other times, I want or need to get into Converge mode to settle on a solution. Occasionally, I need to rapidly iterate between divergence and convergence, especially when working in an unfamiliar domain or learning a new subject. When coaching, I've often found that people either get stuck in endless divergence or try to skip that stage and jump to defining a premature solution. Simply holding the space for them to spend sufficient time in each mode often brings clarity and valuable progress to the team. The tricky part, though, is usually the Groan Zone in the middle, where the creative process involves turning a problem statement into a solution definition. Many people try to skip this stage, probably because it feels unfamiliar and dangerous, and instead grab the nearest pre-built solution — similar to your example of people wanting a magic book launch playbook.

Sean Waters's avatar

This is excellent, Paul. Generous, clear, and definitely generative.

Reading this, I realized how poorly I conceive of off-ramps before I start… but then again, I also start things in earnest after I get a sense of how they play into my infinite game. … and perhaps why I’m so drawn to the insight here, to prototyping experiences and tiny experiments.

I’m curious about costs here, as you went into a little bit, with time, but I was expecting to see some negative values on the money-earned column.

Rick Foerster's avatar

This is wise stuff.

Seems to me so many are hoping for "their calling." As-in: this one perfect, permanent place of perpetual bliss. They see all these other people living their best life, and it just sounds so doable, so why can't they figure it out either?!

It doesn't work like that, and the HOPING for it part may actually be the barrier that gets in the way of finding it. i.e. they grasp for the next thing, put all their eggs into one move (instead of many tests), etc.

Paul Millerd's avatar

Yeah I’ve found some form of it but with a weird and unexpired and changing mix of actual activities. And it may end. Who knows.