I’m curious, Paul, why do you feel you may only be able to sustain your current creative path for 2-3 more years? What factors are causing you to feel that way?
We make a lot of tradeoffs that others would not be happy with. I only feel like I’m thriving because I am clear-sighted about the costs and benefits of the path for now and want to keep going.
Was it difficult to be ok with your trade-offs? I’ve noticed my biggest ongoing fear with being off the default path is that it won’t work out and I should have stuck with the default all along. But I’ve also noticed that the fear is not so much a question of finances but more a fear of a deeper threat that it not working out challenges my sense of belonging and acceptance like I’m doing something shameful and I should backtrack asap.
It definitely took a while. I think the pathless path was essentially self therapy giving myself permission to keep going. I think I continue to be excited about the present and future of my life so I want to keep going. Sometimes I do stress about not having options my well financed peers do but then I remember that I didn’t like those tradeoffs in that life
I find it ironic that being highly successful on the default path can actually make you feel more trapped. I assume this fellow might think, "Well, most people who quit their jobs were in a much worse position than me, so it was easier for them to leave." Unfortunately I haven't found a good way to frame this yet. But I wonder if the "survival rate" on the pathless path is actually higher for those who were already successful on the default path.
> She’s been with me from the early days, and we’ve been co-building this life together. I think my journey would have been a lot harder without her.
It sounds easier, at least to me, to walk an uncertain path if others around me are doing the same. Not just a partner, but friends and acquaintances too. Sometimes I think meeting more people on the "pathless path" is a great strategy to make the leap easier. But then I realize it is structurally improbable. I mean when you are trapped in a 9-to-5 you naturally end up in the same places and schedules as everyone else on the default path.
So as someone with the double nickel already in the rearview--a year past it last Thursday--I can tell you that this is what your mid-20s are like.
I'd ask what you would do instead?
What will you do when that fails? (Because the whole point is that it *will* at least once, and it's overwhelmingly likely that that will happen near the beginning.)
What would I change if I could go back in time? Only this: being aggressive about making and keeping up connections. A lot of smart, talented 20somethings are obsessed with long-term financial planning. Think of it like that, but with people. In fact, if I had to pick only one, I'd pick the people.
Man this one slapped. As an almost 25yo
Ah nice! Glad it resonated.
I’m curious, Paul, why do you feel you may only be able to sustain your current creative path for 2-3 more years? What factors are causing you to feel that way?
Incomes declining on most things im doing
And there is no path to reversing that? Or, not one you would enjoy?
yeah exactly
- the obvious easy money bad soul paths
- the clear wins that might cost me energy
- then the potential ambiguous exciting paths that seem totally impossible or unclear (i usually aim here)
My fave part:
We make a lot of tradeoffs that others would not be happy with. I only feel like I’m thriving because I am clear-sighted about the costs and benefits of the path for now and want to keep going.
Is that success? Who knows.
That’s for you to decide :-)
Was it difficult to be ok with your trade-offs? I’ve noticed my biggest ongoing fear with being off the default path is that it won’t work out and I should have stuck with the default all along. But I’ve also noticed that the fear is not so much a question of finances but more a fear of a deeper threat that it not working out challenges my sense of belonging and acceptance like I’m doing something shameful and I should backtrack asap.
It definitely took a while. I think the pathless path was essentially self therapy giving myself permission to keep going. I think I continue to be excited about the present and future of my life so I want to keep going. Sometimes I do stress about not having options my well financed peers do but then I remember that I didn’t like those tradeoffs in that life
I find it ironic that being highly successful on the default path can actually make you feel more trapped. I assume this fellow might think, "Well, most people who quit their jobs were in a much worse position than me, so it was easier for them to leave." Unfortunately I haven't found a good way to frame this yet. But I wonder if the "survival rate" on the pathless path is actually higher for those who were already successful on the default path.
> She’s been with me from the early days, and we’ve been co-building this life together. I think my journey would have been a lot harder without her.
It sounds easier, at least to me, to walk an uncertain path if others around me are doing the same. Not just a partner, but friends and acquaintances too. Sometimes I think meeting more people on the "pathless path" is a great strategy to make the leap easier. But then I realize it is structurally improbable. I mean when you are trapped in a 9-to-5 you naturally end up in the same places and schedules as everyone else on the default path.
Loved the honesty and in particular your reflection on the allure of “success” with no real definition.
So as someone with the double nickel already in the rearview--a year past it last Thursday--I can tell you that this is what your mid-20s are like.
I'd ask what you would do instead?
What will you do when that fails? (Because the whole point is that it *will* at least once, and it's overwhelmingly likely that that will happen near the beginning.)
What would I change if I could go back in time? Only this: being aggressive about making and keeping up connections. A lot of smart, talented 20somethings are obsessed with long-term financial planning. Think of it like that, but with people. In fact, if I had to pick only one, I'd pick the people.
Agree. It is sad and probably still inevitable that your friends from your 20s do drift away a bit