41 Comments
User's avatar
Gerlando Piro's avatar

Very inspirational and catching me at just the right moment. 🙂

Jack Moses's avatar

I can most definitely see how Pai changed Kaitlin so much

Magical place

Kaitlyn Ramsay's avatar

It's such a special place. Did you spend some time there, Jack?

Jack Moses's avatar

Yes I volunteered for a month at Atlas Valley last summer it was magical

Heading back in a few weeks!

Kaitlyn Ramsay's avatar

Oooo very cool! It looks like you also caught a bit of the Pai hole bug 😆 safe travels back!

Colin Maretti's avatar

This was such a rewarding scroll—so many variations on the same impulse: get out, figure it out, stay out longer than expected.

I write survival-style guides for Americans planning their exits, and what strikes me reading these is how rarely people leave for just one reason. It’s usually burnout + curiosity + timing + a little “screw it.”

Really appreciated the honesty here—especially the subtle fears people carry about not returning. It’s the part of the story that doesn’t show up in visa checklists or travel blogs.

Emanuela B's avatar

Reading these stories feels like finding my tribe: Nineteen years ago, I arrived in France for my studies. Since then, I’ve lived in three countries and learned five languages.

Sometimes I wonder if I will stay more and what it would be life back home... but still here in the flow !

Piotrek Bodera's avatar

What a fantastic post. Your collection of expat stories is both insightful and deeply human, capturing the wide spectrum of motivations and emotions that come with living abroad.

One point that really resonated with me is how the definition of “expat” has evolved. As you noted, the internet and remote work have made it possible for people to “expat themselves” without waiting for corporate approval or being tied to a specific job posting. From my experience and observations, this shift has democratized the expat experience and encouraged more authentic integration into local cultures, since people are moving for personal growth, adventure, or quality of life, rather than just career advancement. This often leads to richer, more varied communities abroad.

After hearing so many stories, do you think there’s a common thread or mindset that helps expats thrive and find fulfillment, regardless of where they end up?

Paul Millerd's avatar

I think finding other fellow expats or some community that feels like home is vital

Piotrek Bodera's avatar

I concur! In my case, we managed to build a strong expat/digital nomad community in Tenerife, where I was based for 3 years. Now, I'm already a second year in Asia, but thanks to regular 1:1 chats I maintain a good relationship with those friends. I plan to visit them in person in the following months.

How's your community in Thailand, Paul?

Paul Millerd's avatar

still tbd - in samui for a month but hoping to build some deeper ties in chiang mai

canaries is great, i had such a great time with nacho's community in gran canaria in 2020

Piotrek Bodera's avatar

Oh yeah, I attended Nacho's Repeople conference where I established great connections.

If I may recommend, my friend Ramón from Mapmelon, highly regards John Ho from Alt Coliving in Chiang Mai. I haven't met him yet, but John appears to be *the* link in the South East Asia community.

Kaitlyn Ramsay's avatar

This was fun to contribute to and now to read other experiences too! Thank you for including me, Paul. I hope you're enjoying your time in Thailand so far.

Janice | Travel & Photography's avatar

Thanks for sharing. As an expat it was inspiring to read snippets of other people's stories. Hope you're having a great time in Asia!

Frank Chen's avatar

love it, am jealous, which is not the emotion i expected

Vivian's avatar

I love this post and getting to know all the people you mentioned. Thanks for sharing. And for mentioning The Expat Diaries. I'm glad you've been enjoying the stories people have been sharing there. I need to go down the rabbit hole of your substack!

Paul Millerd's avatar

Thanks! I recently just stumbled into yours as I was writing this!

Vivian's avatar

Well I'm glad we bumped into each other!

David Nebinski's avatar

Love this

Emily Ann Hill's avatar

Great write-up, thanks for including me, Paul! So many interesting folks here. Meeting dozens of interesting folks while on the road has absolutely been the best accidental side effect of this non-traditional lifestyle 🙂

I’m actually about to publish a post about how these days, traveling/moving/living abroad has become quite easy (at least compared to 10+ years ago). Sure, it might still be intimidating at first, but with Google Maps, translation apps, Uber, global cell phone coverage, delivery apps, etc., it’s totally doable for those willing to give “expat-ing themselves” a try.

Paul Millerd's avatar

It really has. Although I do think there is some skill required that probably just requires going through enough things going wrong to get used to it. But it is surprisingly easy now.

Vivian's avatar

I remember the first time I moved from the US to Italy in 2007 and spent the first 3 hours wandering with my luggage over bridges in Venice, trying to find the room I rented from a random lady on Craigslist. How I got around without Google Maps (or even an internet-connected mobile phone), I will never know. Those were adventurous times. haha.

Paul Millerd's avatar

Got lost with family in France in 99 for six hours. Would literally never happen now!

Vivian's avatar

OMG, 6 hours is a long time. I feel like that adventure had to also include lunch at some really cute place, though. Please tell me I'm right.

Leonid Ler's avatar

Appreciate the feature, Paul! Thank you!

Good to see so many different stories of people that are discovering their ideal setup.

The world is smaller today, and the opportunities are endless :)

As scary as it can be, once you do it you'll look back and wish you would have done it sooner.

Kurt Earl's avatar

Paul, this was fascinating to read. Thinking...are we meant to function without a true home base like some of these pathless examples seem to? I love the idea that anywhere in the world is the potential location of your chosen lifestyle, but are humans meant to function without a place that is truly home?

Paul Millerd's avatar

that is a good question worth asking, but perhaps not answering categorically

Laoura Trivizas's avatar

Loved this post. Having moved to Brussels from Athens at 18 I feel it’s been the best and most enriching decision I could’ve made. Ofc, social and political factors played a role in pushing me to leave, but taking the leap felt, above all, like an existential decision. As if the modus vivendi of the city would slowly suffocate me. I think it’s about what @Sachin called a desire for non-rootedness (vs rootedness). Brussels felt like a space where people bring their inherited ways of living into the in-between and reinvent them. The city is full of small contradictions, where no single identity dominates. That tension creates room for new ways of inhabiting, and a sense of renewal rather than stagnation.

Since leaving Athens, I’ve also come to appreciate and even resolve many of my prior frustrations not in a nostalgic way, but through this exact feeling of rediscovering the familiar.

Sachin's avatar

haven’t been to Brussels might have to go now

Kaila Krayewski's avatar

Really enjoyed these mini features, Paul! Whereabouts in Thailand are you based? I've been on Koh Phangan for the last 14 years.

By the way, I am compiling a database of substackers who live abroad. Planning to add you to it, unless you'd rather not be included? Let me know! And if you'd like access for a future article like this, do let me know ☺️

Paul Millerd's avatar

we are in chiang mai now - feel free to include me!

Kaila Krayewski's avatar

Oh nice, love Chiang Mai. Are you planning on living in Thailand long term?

Paul Millerd's avatar

yes likely at least part of the year!