36 Comments
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Latham Turner's avatar

My favorite line in all of this:

I found that I preferred hanging out with my daughter to working most days.

I feel you on this one. Great reflection Paul.

Cobin Soelberg, M.D., J.D.'s avatar

Thank you for sharing your reflections on your journey over the last decade.

What almost always shines through in your writing about your life is joy, commitment, and courage. You create, but don't describe it as a grind or a miserable experience. You purposefully search out ways to create and areas to write about that create a spark within you.

It's refreshing to hear that you can create a life aligned with your integrity and have fun along the way.

As a new-ish toddler dad and physician, I've loved the moments I spend with my son, immersed in his world. I've also struggled with the misguided belief that anything "worth" doing must be a grind and must be super hard. I'm slowly undoing these beliefs and finding areas of light.

Thank you, Paul!

Paul Millerd's avatar

Thanks Cobin. I suspect that’s one lesson little kids can teach us too. My daughter hates hard things but likes some challenges

Matt Cyr's avatar

Outstanding post here. Plenty to unpack and think through. Especially enjoyed the parts about our relationship with money. It’s amazing how that undercurrent runs through so many decisions adults make, often times without even realizing it.

Ravi Verma's avatar

Amazing write up!! Inspires me to write something similar about the 2.5 years of my own pathless path.

Paul, can we have this summary writeups every year please!

Thank you!

Paul Millerd's avatar

ive done one most years! search the archive

Lindsey (is) Not Normal's avatar

Holy shit, this is the single best post I’ve read in months. I’m a scientist struggling to survive the collapse of research, public health, and higher ed in the US at the same time I have discovered over the last 2 years a real passion for writing. I’ve been starting to consider striking out on my own, trying to diversify my income sources while also doing more of the things I love (writing, speaking, teaching). This is so full of excellent advice, the key one being that persistence pays off— and also the reality that you have to become a beginner again. That’s no small pill to swallow on the cusp of 40, having clawed my way up the ranks of academia, but this post is pretty much exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. Thank you!

Paul Millerd's avatar

Hey Lindsey. Glad it was useful! Rooting for your next phase

David Nebinski's avatar

Such a great overview!

Ben Mercer's avatar

excited to see what's next for you

Rhea's avatar

Thank you for sharing Paul!! Having a non-traditional career means there sometimes isn't a commonly understood "language" to articulate your choices, highs, and lows, which can feel isolating -- your newsletter helps close the gap :)

Pablo Musumeci's avatar

Thanks for sharing your path Paul. It's always reassuring to know that even the pathless path is less crowded, the people who are there are actually enjoying their time :)

Colin Rocker's avatar

#7 rings very true for me. As a self-employed Dad to a 13-month-old (who takes care of him on Fridays), you capture that feeling perfectly.

Paul Millerd's avatar

cool to hear. I've been thinking about this a bit the last few months, nice to hear it resonated!

love that you're doing a four day workweek, thats so awesome

Alexis Vale's avatar

I resonate with this on so many levels. I used to work in country-branding media, spending months at a time living out of hotel rooms, interviewing ministers, CEOs, and diplomats. On the surface, it looked like a dream job. Underneath, it was high-octane burnout.

After leaving that world, my work life meandered for a bit, but eventually, I built a remote business that ran mostly on autopilot. For over a decade, it gave me the space to be present at home, raise my daughter alongside my wife, and actually **live**.

That income stream is now under pressure. But like you, I’ve learned not to panic. Instead, I’m taking it as a push to step out of my comfort zone and dive fully into writing. It won’t be passive, but it feels like the most alive use of my energy right now.

Thanks for sharing this reflection. It landed deep.

Paul Millerd's avatar

Very cool. Good to hear there are others feeling similar pressures but still leaning into it

Anjali Krishnakumar's avatar

I really really resonated with your two reflections you summarised this with! As a creative enthusiast who dreams of being a full-time artist and writer, things are hard, but you always keep going nevertheless because you're happy and hopeful! 💛 Not many understands that, and thats okay. Not everyone has to figure out your calling!

Adam Hugill's avatar

This is super insightful Paul. Knowing when enough is enough is often the hardest part. Good on you for being able to spend time with your family in a way that an alternative path may not have allowed.

Doris Füllgrabe's avatar

Happy anniversary! 🎉🎂 sending abrazos from Gran Canaria. 😊

Paul Millerd's avatar

Oh awesome. I love las Palmas. Are you staying in repeople places ?

Doris Füllgrabe's avatar

Sorry, just realized those are coliving places? We moved back into our old apartment, husband is from here and had bought one ages ago. We’re here to help take care of his folks, so it’s a homecoming for him, and I’m along for the ride. 😊

Paul Millerd's avatar

Ah nice. Yeah there’s a great guy nacho Rodriguez that has an amazing nomad community in las Palmas. He owns the Coliving houses. We spent Covid in one of them!

Doris Füllgrabe's avatar

We’re in Las Palmas, up on one of the hills overlooking the lower end of Las Canteras. I’ve been thinking about going to Talleres Palermo when I’m ready for co-working, but will check out Repeople! Thanks for the tip!

Jen Vermet's avatar

You left me really inspired about making effort to celebrate wins, diversifying your income and how you’ve found ways to make writing important but not pressure it to be the breadwinner. Thank you for this share Paul! I appreciate your transparency

Angela Hollowell's avatar

Someone who thinks, “I’m someone who can earn and is worth this much,” and will look for opportunities to do so.

I definitely fall in that camp. I've also had a dip in my income as a self employed person, and fought mightily not to think of myself as a failure. I hope that when I look back in year 8, I can see that it was just part of the journey.

Paul Millerd's avatar

yeah two sides to that belief - key is not beating yourself up!